Momentum, redux..

I recently wrote a post about momentum, and how important it is to maintain it in life.  If you haven't noticed already, I AM FLAWED.  I know, how is that possible?  I mean, I write my own blog (on average, probably about once every two weeks; hardly a regular contribution to my work).  I came home from Hungary with all of the inspiration I thought I would need.  But wine will only take you so far (maybe I should reconsider this particular inspiration; your thoughts are welcomed).  This particular hiatus lasted three weeks.  Hardly a case for maintaining momentum.  I've been relaxed, to be sure.  Very relaxed.  So relaxed that the thought of putting my fingers to the keyboard has been an afterthought, by the time my son has been put to bed.  Eight o'clock PM used to be prime time (actually, 10 pm is prime time)!  It's not like I haven't had any material; I've had plenty.  And it hasn't all been inspired by the idea of winemaking (but much of the inspiration has come from wine drinking).  And here I am, once again.  Wine glass in hand (on the high chair, in this case; don't judge me.  Or go ahead and judge me; I won't care anyway.  I learned that from my father.  Thank you, Apu).  Actually, I will spare you the trouble.  I will go ahead and make some judgments of my own.

It isn't easy to maintain momentum.  In the period following Lance Armstrong's fall from grace, I got to thinking about his rise.  I was a huge fan; the battle back from cancer, the 7 straight yellow jersey finishes in the Tour de France, the LIVESTRONG foundation for cancer research and support.  Nearly all of my father's side of the family (he had six brothers and two sisters) died from cancer, including his father.  Not to mention my mother's sister and mother (seven girls and two boys on her side).  Cancer has had it's way with my family (my mother, father, and sister have had it and survived; my father has had three different cancers, not to mention his aortic valve replacement..82 years old, and still kicking ass).  I read Lance's autobiography (despite his decline, it's still an inspirational story.  As controlling as he was, I have to believe that he still beat the cancer that spread from his testicles to his lymph nodes to his lungs to his brain, etc.).  We are all flawed, and I won't judge him.  After that battle, he admitted that he still took for granted the fact that he had cancer and survived.  He never wanted to forget the fact that he was almost dead, and he wanted to live every day like it was his last.  But we all do this, every day.  And most of us haven't had to contend with such pain and suffering.  It was an important truth that he shared with the world.  We all want to live our life that way, even if we haven't been struck with potentially terminal cancer.  He survived it all, and still took his life for granted.  So do I.  And so do you (it's ok to admit it.  Can you imagine if we all did that every day?  I'd be Bill Murray in Groundhog Day..).  The fact that he beat this cancer, as advanced as it was, is far greater an accomplishment than any Tour victory.  It doesn't matter that he doesn't live every day like its his last.  He's alive to face his charges, pay his price, and move on.  I don't follow anything about his life anymore.  But honestly, who cares about the yellow jerseys.  HE'S ALIVE.  And so am I.  And so are you.  

So I slipped.  I let three weeks go by without a blog to write.  It's not a proud moment, but life is full of questions and complications.  It's what makes it fun to be alive.  Who the hell wants to be predictable?  I've predicted the behavior of way too many people (some of which have had way too much influence over my life, for way too long).  I like being unpredictable.  It's not by choice, it's my nature (and Mum, if you're reading this one, you know better than anybody).  There is no hook to this blog, so don't look for it.  I'm not going to tie it up with any words of inspiration.  On this one, fill in the blanks.  I plan on providing inspiration to the people who are reading my blog, before and after this one (and I am grateful and humbled by this, every day.  I do NOT take that for granted, I promise this).  Take this moment to do a little introspection, and take a hard look inside of yourself.  I don't care what you find.  But pull it out, and shake it off.  Kick it, shuffle your feet across it.  It's time for a self examination.  There is a danger in writing a transparent blog.  But in the end, you have to be true to your message.  I'll stand by you on this one.  And with that, a great song that has been a regular part of my repertoire as of late...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maTP315XZCQ