The end of the world (as we formerly knew it)

I have a very good friend who's in trouble.  Two kids, a beautiful wife, a nice house in suburban Connecticut.  He was my production supervisor in the facility that closed down (remember the guy who ordered everyone back to work after being fired, in the saddest city in the country?  That facility).  We went through that experience together (as well as some after hours shit-shows), and he was the first person I've ever worked with that I befriended in 20+ years of management.  We haven't worked together for about a year, and we still keep in touch.  He's visited my home twice, and I have to reciprocate.  And he's suffering.  He was sent home today for being "too emotional" in conversation with his boss.  And then he received a call later in the day that he's to come to work at 10 am tomorrow.  He thinks he's losing his job.  And he may be right.  

Everyone has an ego to contend with.  With the exception of some Buddhists and other spiritual individuals who can truly detach themselves from ego (at least outwardly), we work to control our thoughts and our egos.  Most of us will NEVER conquer our ego.  It's work.  And mine's pretty damn big.  It takes an army.  My first instinct is almost always to defend myself.  I'm confrontational.  I can't help myself sometimes.  We all have a dark side; and I am the Sith-in Yoda's words, quick to anger, quick to fight.  This is my nature.  I grew up that way, kicking the shit out of most kids twice my size (I was 5' 3" until junior year in high school, when I grew 8" in one year), locking them in garages (except for Mario; he had tools from his dad's shed.  Pitchforks.  Hammers.  Saws.  My skull met his hammer and saw on separate occasions.  My poor Mom..I was a bloody mess).  I was an angry little boy, an angry young man, and at times, I have been an angry grown man.  Scary angry, like the grey-blue color of my eyes turning to black.. 

Luckily for me, none of the moments of my angry history have EVER happened at work (there's another area of expertise for me; I can actually check my ego at the door when I get to work).  We should work to do this in all endeavors (if you've read last week's blog, Positioning, I mentioned Eckhart Tolle and Don Miguel Ruiz' work.  Life changing stuff.  I've made tremendous strides on the ego front).   But how do we do this?  How do we let things happen like what may happen to my friend?  At what point do we allow ourselves to be put into such a precarious position, risking all we are for some schmuck on a power trip?  My friend has consistently beaten his financial plan month after month.  Not only has productivity increased, so has morale.  He credits me regularly on how much he learned from me, and he routinely asks for my advice on how to handle situations.  I coached him on this situation, too, on how to stick to the facts and remain professional.  He wondered how I would have handled this guy.  And before he even said it, I wished I could have pulled a Patrick Swayze in Ghost and jumped into his 6' 4", Whoopi Goldberg self.  But I couldn't. And he got emotional.  I didn't have the heart to tell him that he blew it when he questioned his boss about his accomplishments.  And just like that, with one ego against another, regardless of the value he brings to the organization, one man can cut another loose.  So he's at home with his family, awaiting his fate.  But it doesn't have to be this way.  We have a choice.  He is a prisoner, just like me, and if you're reading this, you probably are too.  I may not be able to control my ego sometimes, but should that cost me my job?  It seems so obvious, yet we are so willing to give up our freedom to somebody else's whim.  It's insanity.  Try to think of any other position that you find yourself in where you would allow this to happen.  Good luck.  You won't.  Because it's stupid.  But we spend the better part of our days like this.  Think about how old you are.  Are you 25?  Maybe 34, 46, 58, 60?  Have you ever estimated how many days that you have lived, and how many you have left?  I've lived about 16,000 days or so.  And I'm guessing I have less than 16,000 days to go.  And I've spent that first 16,000 dreaming of being free.  Entrepreneurs in most other countries, regardless of government or regime, have more freedom than we do.  The land of the free, home of the brave?  Are we really that brave?  We sure as hell aren't free, not under these circumstances.  What is your standard for brevity?   For freedom?  It's not a brave act to submit to this kind of treatment.  We all do.  I do.  Every day.  And we give up our freedoms.  The government has robbed us of most of our freedoms over the past 13 years.  Our private lives are under constant surveillance.  Are you willing to give up your freedom at work, too?  How much more are you willing to give up?  A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  Just one, small step.  I'm taking steps.  It's painful.  And slow.  And often pathetic.  But I'm moving forward.  My step today?  I'm going to call my brother.  And we are going to brainstorm.  We worked together for twenty years, for somebody else, who fired us both and took away our father's pension after 50 years of service because his daughter and I fell in love (she was fired, too.  Before any of us.  And now we have a beautiful baby together).  And my brother has never been more ready to take the first step than he is now.  He's already had a business that failed.  He failed!  He's so much further along than most of us.  We all have to fail.  These are educational goldmines.  He has much to teach me, and I want to learn.  Have you taken your first step?  If you are in the US, Germany, Malaysia (the three countries who have read my blog so far; there goes my ego again), or anywhere else, it's time.  Take that first step. Let me know what you did.  I love to travel.  So take me with you..